The Stuff He Doesn’t Notice

Today was cleaning day. Unlike many women, I actually enjoy cleaning: the clear cause and effect, the satisfaction of finishing a job, the permission to let my mind roam.

Except when I bump into The Stuff He Doesn’t Notice.

My partner really loves to clean too, probably for the reasons that I do, but he thinks he’s done WAY before I do. So, on my cleaning day, I keep encountering his half-finished jobs.

only the center of the room is vacuumed. stuff is in the cabinets but in no order. dishwasher is full but spoons are spooning and bowls are right side up. actual dirty silverware is in the drawer because he didn’t notice that the dishwasher, loaded his way, failed to clean it. stuff is shoved into corners where it doesn’t seem to show.

I could go on.   Most women that I talk to have some variation on this complaint–someone in The Bitch in the House does a good riff on it.

I really don’t know what to do about this problem. The point has been made (I have actually made it) that we need to care less about proper results if we want to be liberated. But I’m not comfortable nowadays living in chaos. Organization releases my creativity, so I choose to spend the time to make the space that I want to inhabit. I’m fortunate in being able to cut my work hours to do it. But I’m reinforcing the pattern even as I complain about it. Again, victim and perpetrator.


One thought on “The Stuff He Doesn’t Notice

  1. Haha, I’m so there with you with the dirty dishes in the cupboard, as long as it’s gone through the dishwasher it’s OK with him. Then they hand wash most of the dishes, except for one dish for some odd reason and only wipe the front of the counter. Oh men. One day mine might just learn to put a new roll of toilet paper ON the holder instead of just sitting it on the counter, or not. At least he’s cute though.

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