Sabine and Joey have given birth to their daughter Ula. It was a transformative trauma, as births are, and they are living the experience of awe. There is nothing like the presence of a newborn child to bring us face to face with the miracle of existence. For our family, it was especially moving to visit this new family since we had just returned from the funeral of an important matriarch in our family. In that moment, the experience of life and death seemed simultaneous, which of course it is in every moment.
Here she is, without the baby.
and now I must follow the example of the New York Times. Every time they publish an article on the independent life of women who are mothers, they must include lots and lots of reassurance that they are still the primary parents and that nothing is more important to them. For example, on an article on women in science, what they chose to bold print was “it was O.K. with me if I had kids and didn’t get tenure, but it would not be O.K. with me if I got tenure and didn’t have kids.”
So let me rest your minds, Sabine is doing the breast feeding and just as much of the holding. She is a real mom, and she has a real partner in parenting.