Well, I’ve been practically busting at the seams to tell you that when I asked Joey what he was going to do to UnMartyr Sabine, he announced that he was throwing her a surprise shower. I, the lousiest lier on the planet, was to be the ruse. We pretended that I wanted to film her talking about aging (my next project), and that we had to do this at the Cheesecake Factory, of all places! Somehow she bought it.
So, we ate plenty of food–for us and for the baby, gave lots of advice, laughed a lot, and talked about art as redemption. Joey asked about ‘resent.’ ‘Do Mom’s resent making sacrifices?’ My answer was that if we feel resentment, we can use it as a signal. Yes, there is a danger that we begin to expect things from our children. The solution is to change the situation. Once again, the lesson is to take more for ourselves.
Of course, I gave Sabine this advice. And she’s been getting suggestions from you all, our online community, and has been ever gracious. For example, about the advice to get help, she writes: ” I must admit that I am not the best in delegating/sharing work and household chores. Most of the time I rather just do it myself rather getting into discussions who does what, which is a terrible habit. Hopefully I will finally learn how to share jobs/tasks and also get help from friends. Plus the sleep deprivation and PPD may be an issue, so being prepared will definitely help.”
I did ask Joey whether he knew what Sabine needed, and he said that sometimes he has to guess. Well, who has tried that one?
Here are some of my favorite pics from the shower.
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