This was my first Halloween as an UnMartyred Mom. What was different? I allowed myself ambivalent responses to the holiday. I enjoyed participating in Vita’s creativity. I helped with the outfit but she really had the style to make it work. I did not pressure myself to slog through the neighborhood because I hate that more than I hate being disrupted by trickortreaters at my home. I observed the expectation to be cheerful, to be a good audience, and then I let it go, and responded honestly. Many of the kids were terrific; some seemed bored and greedy. Maybe they too feel some kind of pressure to make this holiday into something. Sometimes I do wish we could all just relax and hang once in a while.